By Olivia Lavelle, LCSW, Certified EMDR Therapist
Updated October 29, 2026
You are curious about EMDR therapy, but part of you may still feel nervous.
Maybe you have wondered:
Will I have to relive everything that happened?
Is EMDR similar to hypnosis?
What if I become overwhelmed?
What if I do not remember every detail?
How will I know whether EMDR is right for me?
Those are reasonable questions. EMDR can look different from the therapy you may have experienced before, and knowing what to expect can make the process feel less unfamiliar.
This article walks you through what an EMDR session may involve, what you remain in control of, and how preparation and pacing fit into the process..
What is EMDR Therapy?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is a structured psychotherapy commonly used to treat trauma and other distressing experiences.
During parts of EMDR, you briefly bring an aspect of a disturbing experience to mind while following eye movements, listening to alternating tones, or using alternating taps. This is called bilateral stimulation.
EMDR includes eight phases: history taking and treatment planning, preparation, assessment, desensitization, installation, body scan, closure, and reevaluation. These phases may unfold across several appointments, and the amount of time spent in each one varies from person to person.
You will not necessarily begin processing a difficult memory during your first appointment. We begin by understanding what brings you to therapy, what you want help with, and what preparation you may need.
Learn more about online EMDR therapy.
What does EMDR feel like?
There is no single feeling that everyone experiences during EMDR.
You might notice:
An emotion becoming stronger or softer
A change in a body sensation
A new thought or perspective
Another memory coming to mind
An image becoming less vivid
Feeling uncertain about what you notice
Very little change during a particular set
You do not have to produce a specific response or make something happen. Your role is to notice what arises and communicate with your therapist about what you are experiencing.
What happens before EMDR Reprocessing?
History Taking & Treatment Planning
We begin by learning about your current concerns, relevant history, existing support, coping strategies, and goals for therapy.
You do not have to share your entire story at once. This phase helps us understand how past experiences may connect with what is difficult today and whether EMDR fits your current needs.
Preparation
Before processing, I explain how EMDR works and introduce the forms of bilateral stimulation we may use.
We also identify ways to help you remain present and communicate what you need. Preparation might include grounding, guided imagery, breathing, noticing body sensations, or strengthening supportive internal resources.
Preparation is not a test you have to pass. It is part of determining what will help the work feel manageable and appropriately paced.
How do we choose what to work on?
You do not need to arrive knowing the exact memory to process.
We may begin with:
A specific memory
A recurring relationship reaction
A distressing image
A belief such as “I am not safe” or “I am not enough”
A body sensation connected to an experience
A present situation that repeatedly activates you
Together, we clarify the focus and identify the image, belief, emotions, and body sensations connected with it.
This gives us a shared starting point. It does not mean every detail has to be discussed or processed at once.
What happens during EMDR Reprocessing?
During processing, I may ask you to notice part of the selected memory while following a moving image on your screen, listening to alternating tones, or tapping from side to side.
After a short set, we pause. I ask what you notice, and you briefly share whatever came up. That might be a thought, feeling, image, memory, body sensation, or uncertainty.
We then continue based on what you are noticing.
You remain awake and aware throughout the process. EMDR is not hypnosis. You can speak, ask questions, request a pause, or stop the bilateral stimulation.
You also do not have to provide a detailed verbal account of everything you remember. I need enough information to understand how the process is unfolding and support you, but EMDR does not require you to narrate every part of the experience.
What does online EMDR look like?
During online EMDR, we meet through a secure video platform. Depending on what fits you, bilateral stimulation may involve:
Following a moving dot or light across your screen
Listening to alternating audio tones
Using alternating taps on your shoulders or knees
Before processing, we discuss privacy, your technology, and how to respond if the connection is interrupted. You will need to be physically located in California during your appointment.
What if I become overwhelmed?
You do not have to push through distress to make EMDR successful.
We pay attention to your reactions throughout the process. You can ask to pause, slow down, change the bilateral stimulation, or return to grounding. If processing does not feel appropriate that day, we can use the appointment for preparation, assessment, or other therapeutic work.
Feeling some emotion during trauma therapy does not automatically mean something is going wrong. The goal is to work within a range that allows you to remain connected enough to the present and communicate what you need.
How does an EMDR session end?
Closure is part of every EMDR session, whether a memory feels fully resolved or remains unfinished.
Toward the end of the appointment, we stop active processing and help you reorient to the present. We may use grounding, paced breathing, guided imagery, or another resource that works for you.
We also discuss what you noticed, what you may need after the session, and anything to observe before we meet again.
People respond differently after EMDR. You may feel settled, tired, reflective, emotionally tender, or notice additional thoughts, dreams, or memories. We discuss how to contact me if you have a concern and what support is available between appointments.
At the beginning of the next session, we reevaluate the target and decide what comes next.
Weekly EMDR or an EMDR Intensive?
EMDR can be offered through weekly appointments or longer intensive sessions.
Weekly EMDR therapy provides ongoing support with time between appointments to reflect, practice skills, and address current concerns.
An EMDR intensive reserves a longer period for a focus we identify together. Intensives include assessment and preparation beforehand, planned breaks during the appointment, and follow-up support afterward.
One format is not automatically better than the other. The right fit depends on your goals, history, readiness, available support, and the amount of time you can set aside.
Compare weekly EMDR therapy and EMDR intensives.
Frequently Asked Questions
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No. You remain awake and aware during EMDR. You can speak, ask questions, pause, or stop at any time.
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EMDR involves bringing aspects of a distressing experience to mind, but it does not require a detailed retelling of every event. We discuss what feels manageable and how to pace the work before processing begins.
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You do not need a complete timeline or perfect memory. We can begin with what you notice now, such as a belief, emotional reaction, relationship pattern, image, or body sensation.
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No. History taking, treatment planning, and preparation are part of EMDR. The time needed before processing varies according to the person and their circumstances.
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There is no universal number. The length of treatment depends on your goals, history, current symptoms, the complexity of the concerns, and how you respond to treatment. We review progress and recommendations together.
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Online EMDR may be an option when telehealth is clinically appropriate and you have sufficient privacy, technology, and support. I provide online EMDR therapy to clients who are physically located in California during their sessions.
Considering EMDR Therapy in California?
I offer online weekly EMDR therapy and EMDR intensives for women across California. My work focuses on attachment trauma, childhood emotional neglect, anxiety, hyper-independence, and the experience of understanding your patterns while still feeling affected by them.
We begin with a free 20-minute consultation to discuss what you are looking for and whether my approach may fit your needs.
Explore weekly EMDR therapy, learn about EMDR intensives, or book a free consultation.
Further Reading
This article provides general educational information and does not replace an individual assessment or treatment recommendation.
Olivia Lavelle, LCSW is a Certified EMDR Therapist who works with women navigating attachment trauma, childhood emotional neglect, anxiety, and patterns of emotional self-reliance.
She offers online weekly EMDR therapy and half-day and multi-day EMDR intensives for women across California. Her work focuses on the gap between understanding your patterns and feeling able to respond differently.
Learn more about Olivia or book a free 20-minute consultation.
