What If You’re Not Broken… Just Burned Out From Being Everything for Everyone?
When you’ve been carrying the weight for everyone else, it can feel walking through the desert with no end in sight. EMDR therapy in Santa Monica can help lighten the load.
You’re not failing. You’re exhausted.
Do you ever feel like no matter how much you give, it’s never enough?
You hold it all together for your family, your job, your friends, even when you’re falling apart inside. Outwardly, you look strong and “put together.” Inside, you feel drained, resentful, maybe even invisible.
Here’s the truth: you’re not broken. You’re burned out from being everything for everyone.
I see this so often in my clients. High-functioning women who appear successful but are quietly struggling with exhaustion, anxiety, and self-doubt. And when you’re caught in this cycle, it’s easy to blame yourself—when in reality, your nervous system is just running on overdrive.
In this blog, we’ll explore:
Why burnout is often misdiagnosed as “being broken”
The hidden cost of constantly showing up for others
How unprocessed trauma feeds people-pleasing and perfectionism
What EMDR therapy can do to help you stop performing and start living
First steps to reclaim your energy and self-worth
👉 Want immediate tools to support yourself? Explore my Shop for healing resources.
The Myth of “Brokenness”
Many of my clients come to me saying: “Something must be wrong with me.” They’ve tried to push harder, do better, keep smiling, but the weight keeps piling up.
But here’s the reframe:
You’re not broken.
You’re burned out.
And burnout isn’t a flaw—it’s a signal.
Your body and mind are telling you: “I can’t keep holding this much anymore.”
👉 Want to understand how trauma shapes this cycle? Read about Trauma Therapy in California.
The Hidden Cost of Carrying It All
Being the strong one often means:
Overthinking everything. You rehearse every conversation to make sure you don’t upset anyone.
People-pleasing. You say yes when your whole body is screaming no.
Perfectionism. You overwork, over-prepare, and over-deliver to feel worthy.
Anxiety in your body. Tight chest, racing thoughts, restless sleep.
Grief you don’t name. The loss of time, dreams, or even relationships when you’re too busy carrying everyone else.
This kind of burnout doesn’t just drain your energy—it disconnects you from yourself.
👉 Struggling with loss layered on burnout? Visit my Grief Therapy page.
Why Trauma Fuels Burnout
Here’s something many therapists don’t say out loud: burnout is rarely just about being busy. It often traces back to old survival patterns.
If you grew up without emotional safety, your nervous system learned:
“I have to take care of everyone to be loved.”
“If I’m perfect, I won’t be criticized.”
“My needs don’t matter.”
Those beliefs don’t disappear in adulthood. They become the silent drivers behind your overfunctioning, people-pleasing, and perfectionism.
Burnout is your body’s way of saying: “This isn’t sustainable anymore.”
Why Coping Strategies Don’t Always Work
You may have tried self-care routines, mindfulness apps, or even talk therapy. And while they help in the moment, they don’t always touch the root.
Because burnout isn’t just about time management—it’s about nervous system management.
That’s why EMDR therapy is different. It helps you get to the beliefs and body sensations that fuel your burnout so you can finally release them.
👉 Want a deeper reset? Explore my EMDR Intensives.
How EMDR Therapy Helps Burnout
In EMDR, we don’t just talk about your exhaustion. We look at what’s underneath it:
The childhood moments where you felt unseen
The belief that you must always be strong
The grief of never being nurtured the way you needed
By reprocessing those stuck experiences, your nervous system learns:
“I can rest without guilt.”
“My worth isn’t tied to performance.”
“I don’t have to carry everyone anymore.”
Clients often tell me EMDR feels like laying down a backpack they’ve carried for decades. Suddenly, the weight is gone.
👉 Learn how EMDR Therapy works here.
Signs You’re Burned Out (Not Broken)
You feel irritable and snappy, even at people you love
You dread the day before it even starts
You wake up tired and go to bed wired
You feel like you’re failing, even when you’re giving everything
You secretly wonder: “Who would I be if I wasn’t the strong one?”
If you’re nodding along, I want you to know: there’s nothing “wrong” with you. Your body is simply begging you to slow down.
You Deserve to Be More Than the Strong One
You don’t have to live stuck in survival mode. You don’t have to keep carrying everyone else’s needs at the expense of your own.
Through EMDR therapy and emotional intelligence coaching, I help women like you:
Calm your nervous system
Stop overfunctioning and people-pleasing
Reconnect with your authentic self
Finally feel safe enough to rest
You’re not broken. You’re human. And you deserve to heal.
👉 Ready to begin? Schedule a consultation today.
Final Word
Burnout doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you’ve been suppressing or ignoring your needs for too long. The survival strategies that once kept you safe are now weighing you down. But with the right support, you can let go of the need to be everything for everyone and finally reclaim yourself.
Because the truth is: you’re not broken. You’re just tired of carrying what was never yours to hold.
